Thoughts!

WARNING: Today's post is purely for me and my own journaling needs. This probably wont matter or make sense to a lot of you since I'm an awful writer. If you do not want to hear rambling and mushy words then you may want to skip this post & stop reading now. 

I'm feeling a lot of emotions today as my time ends as a parent of one!!! The path of parenthood has by far been the best and most trying experience in my life and I'm sure it'll continue to be just that. The biggest feeling I'm having is GRATITUDE! Here's a little back story. My journey to parenthood started six years ago when Jon & I decided to start trying to expand our little family! I at the time honestly thought we are young and oh how easy this will be. Well, let me tell you it was NOT! After lots of testing, money, confusion, jealousy, sadness, and time passing we finally got pregnant. We were able to do so after about 3 years of trying and the help of  fertility drugs. I can't explain the joy we felt when we finally got pregnant and then continued to have our little guy grow so perfectly and healthy until the very end when once again things got a little rocky. He was born two days early with a totally unexpected emergency c-section because my placenta was separating from him. He ended up in the NICU for about a day but that didn't slow him down. He is now our greatest blessing & big & healthy boy! Now to continue on how blessed we are. You learn so much from children and as he grew, so did we and in more ways than one. He has taught us so much & we love him so much. But as the time went on and we had once again had those oh so famous talks of are we ready for another?!? I truly felt ready for number two but for my own emotional selfish needs put it off because I did NOT want to experience the same pain and sorrow we had with trying to get Hayden here but yet I knew how much joy a new little one could bring to our family. After finally realizing that no matter what Gods plan is, it'll always work out even if it's just for us to grow stronger. So with that we decided to try for baby number two. To both of our amazement it was a breeze this time. We didn't get our hopes up after the talk and thought it would be at least  half a year at minimum before we went to get on fertility drugs again but after just two months we were pregnant. This being a great surprise and a great blessing as well. I was humbled to know that I did not have to learn through that same trail we had, had with Hayden. I just want to remember when I look back at how blessed, happy, and grateful I felt at this time in my life to be having two little boys.

My last feeling is kind of the opposite. . . It's a little sad because at this great time of celebration and joy I am missing my TRUE & dear friends from Twin Falls. The ones that really cared about me and came to see me and Hayden three years ago when he was born. They where so loving and such great supporters. I'm just sad they all live further away now and can't just jump in the car to come see us and our new little member of the family. I have yet to find that bond with sisters in my new ward so it especially makes me miss the good friendships. I wanted to let all my T.F. friends now how grateful I am for them and how they'll be very missed this time around but they're defiantly in my thoughts . . .  The next post you see will be of our new bundle of joy! Our lives our changing once again & I'll be sure to continue sharing all those tiny bumps and fun times in the road here on our blog.  

One more thing! I can't leave out my other GREATEST blessing! JON! I love Jon very much and couldn't make it through all these ups and downs without him. I'm glad he still makes me laugh and smile and helps me endure to the end! Thanks for all you do and all your support! Love ME